Aww Hell
by Tjin
Summary: Xanders real dad sends him to camp.


Dawn looked at Xander for a minute before clearing her throat. "So, let me see if I got this straight. You are the son of…"

"A God," Xander confirmed with a nod.

Dawn mimicked his head nod. "A god, right and not just any god, you are the son of Hades, God of the Underworld, Master of the Dark Helm, the first son of Kronos, he who has many names, Host of Many and Commander of Death itself." Dawn expanded.

Smirking a bit, Xander nodded again. "Usually he prefers Hades, Boss or in my case, Dad," Xander said.

As the younger Summers daughter glared at him for a moment, she suddenly blinked in confusion. "Wait a minute, I thought Hades was forbidden to walk the earth, something about forbidden to tread in the lands of the living." She said as she tried to think back to her college courses on ancient mythology.

Coughing a bit, Xander nodded, "Yeah umm, the problem with that is, or at least was, the Hellmouth. While everyone thinks it's a direct portal to hell, the fact is that it's actually the 'Mouth of Hell' sort of like the mouth of a River, in this case the river Lethe, which accounts for the whole 'Sunnydale Syndrome' we had back home." Xander explained as Dawn nodded in understanding. "Well, since the river is his domain as well, he is allowed to walk the Hellmouth, sort of a vacation from running the underworld, though he usually only does this when my aunt Persephone is otherwise, ummm… occupied." Xander said before shaking his head at Dawn's look. "Not for nothing is she called the Iron Queen." He said ruefully as he thought back on his first meeting with his Aunt/Stepmother, a combination that he still found weird.

"Ohh well…" Dawn said before sitting down as the world started to spin slightly "And I thought being the magically formed little sister of the Slayer made MY family odd," she muttered before passing out completely.

Staring down at the grown daughter of Joyce Summers, Xander shook his head before sitting down beside her on the couch to wait for her to come to. He didn't know how she was going to react to Cerberus when his dad dropped him off for the week so he could go on a vacation in the Bermuda Hellmouth with his wife, but as long as Buffy didn't show up they should be able to pull it off.

(Five years earlier.)

Staring up at the sign, Xander smiled as the ancient runes seemed to flow into a script he could read.

"Camp Half-Blood" Xander read quietly before shaking his head, "Because nobody in the modern age can read Greek," he muttered before squaring his shoulders and entering the camp, the tingle of the wards were more his style as he could tell it would keep the more mortally inclined at bay, his father had given him direct instructions on how to handle his first appearance at the camp.

Ignoring the massive house, Xander walked through the combat circle and focused on the long bunk houses that the gathered demigods slept in during their stay. Ignoring the looks he got, Xander marched up to the cold marble slab building at the end of the row, he could hear the gasps from the assembled as he walked inside without a pause and pushed the door closed behind him.

The inside was by far more spectacular than the outside. While the general form of the house was of an ancient Greek mausoleum, marble, ancient and cold, the inside was warmly lit, decorated with art, weapons, jewelry and tapestries adorning the place.

"Man, some people go all out in death," Xander muttered as he glanced around the building in awe before a cold chill worked its way up his spine. Sinning around, Xander blinked at the older man leaning against one of the pillars with a shovel resting by his side.

"Well you know what they say about taking it with you," The man said with an easy smile before shrugging. "Most don't believe it."

Looking the man over Xander was actually somewhat worried; he looked to be about thirty, with the hard muscles of work, a weather worn face and a wide brimmed hat pulled down over a nasty scar on his forehead. "Who are you?" Xander questioned as he maintained a safe distance from the man.

Looking surprised at the question the man actually smiled for a moment before responding "Me? Well that's a bit of a theological hot potato, suffice to say I used to be a… farmer and after a family squabble I set out in search of other employment, eventually caught up with your daddy one day and he offered me a job." The man explained before reaching out a scarred and callused hand in greeting "You can call me Digger, everyone seems to."

After a moment of consideration, Xander finally gripped the man's hand in a firm shake, "Digger, right… so what exactly am I supposed to learn here?"

Chuckling at the lost look on Xander's face, Digger led the young man towards the far side of the house were a shadowed form sat in cold marble repose, "Well you might want to ask the old man himself." Digger said as he lit the two incense lamps beside the statue, darkening the shadows even more and cloaking the god of the underworld in the darkness he was known for.

Taking a deep breath Xander let out a nervous breath before looking up at the stone image of his father, "Hey dad, sorry it took me so long to get here," Xander said before leaning forward as the shifting shadows made the stonework seem to move in the darkness.

(Present)

"Dad and Digger spent the next ten minutes laughing their asses off at how easily I was scared when he jumped out of the Shadows with a shout," Xander explained to his girlfriend as she stared in fascination at the story he was telling her. "It seems nobody had ever mentioned that full gods can 'Substitute' themselves for images of themselves, so Dad had swapped his form into the statue and decided to give me a surprise," Xander explained to Dawn as the younger Summers girl got a calculating look on her face for a moment.

"Wait, so any god can swap themselves for an image?" Dawn asked and frowned at Xander's nod, "Any Image?" She asked and the frown deepened at his nod again. "So is that why you made me swear to never bathe in the upstairs bath at the Watchers' headquarters?"

Coughing a bit, Xander nodded as Dawn caught on to the image of Poseidon carved into the woodwork in the massive bathroom back in London.

Smiling, Dawn leaned back in the chair and carefully tried not to laugh, Buffy was going to kill him when she found out Xander's uncle was perving on her in the bath.

(A/N) Short but it wouldn't leave me alone, I don't know if I will continue it.

I Don't Own BtVS or Percy Jackson


End file.
